May God, the Giver of all wisdom, beauty
And well-being,
Bless all who love Her with these gifts,
And grant that Her blessings may be
Generously shared.
-MARCHIENE VROON RIENSTRA
I was so lucky tonight to participate in a conversation on the wisdom of Dr. Paul!
It is always the right time to receive his wisdom, and never a day passes that it is not applicable to my life. You guys know this story ... it is such a blessing!!! Be with it for a few minutes today, and let it bless you too.
Dr. Alcoholic Addict: from the AABB
...And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am
disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation—some
fact of my life — unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept
that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed
to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by
mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I
accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate
not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be
changed in me and in my attitudes.
Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women
merely players.” He forgot to mention that I was the chief critic. I was always
able to see the flaw in every person, every situation. And I was always glad to
point it out, because I knew you wanted perfection, just as I did. A.A. and
acceptance have taught me that there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a
bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of God and we each have a
right to be here. When I complain about me or about you, I am complaining about
God’s handiwork. I am saying that I know better than God........ Then, one day in A.A., I was told that I had the lenses in my glasses backwards; “the courage to change” in the Serenity Prayer meant not that I should change my marriage, but rather that I should change myself and learn to accept my spouse as she was. A.A. has given me a new pair of glasses. I can again focus on my wife’s good qualities and watch them grow and grow and grow.
I can do the same thing with an A.A. meeting. The more I focus my mind on its defects—late start, long drunkalogs, cigarette smoke—the worse the meeting becomes. But when I try to see what I can add to the meeting, rather than what I can get out of it, and when I focus my mind on what’s good about it, rather than what’s wrong with it, the meeting keeps getting better and better. When I focus on what’s good today, I have a good day, and when I focus on what’s bad, I have a bad day. If I focus on a problem, the problem increases; if I focus on the answer, the answer increases.....
... Perhaps the best thing of all for me is to remember that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations of Max and other people are, the lower is my serenity. I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my expectations. But then my “rights” try to move in, and they too can force my serenity level down. I have to discard my “rights,” as well as my expectations, by asking myself, How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety? And when I place more value on my serenity and sobriety than on anything else, I can maintain them at a higher level — at least for the time being.
Acceptance is the key to my relationship with God today. I never just sit and do nothing while waiting for Him to tell me what to do. Rather, I do whatever is in front of me to be done, and I leave the results up to Him; however it turns out, that’s God’s will for me.
I must keep my magic magnifying mind on my acceptance and off my expectations, for my serenity is directly proportional to my level of acceptance. When I remember this, I can see I’ve never had it so good. Thank God for A.A.!....
Thank you Dr. Paul ~
Your words never fail to transform my day!
Cate
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